Fifteen Questions I Would Like To Ask A Republican FCC Commissioner

(UPDATE: This whole post was secretly just preparation for my interview with FCC Commissioner Nathan Simington a couple weeks later.)

(TW: net neutrality, pasta racism, NCTA v. Brand X, brief but alarmingly favorable quotation of Justice Breyer, Ted Stevens Dance Remix)

Over on Facebook, some of my friends have asked me to give an update to my 2014 post(s) which laid out a conservative argument for Title II “common carrier” regulation of Internet Service Providers.

But, honestly, not all that much has changed. Title II was imposed soon after I called for it, albeit in a limited and, in some respects, sloppy fashion. It remained in effect until 2018, when the Trump-era FCC repealed it… but the repeal itself got caught up in a legal battle (Mozilla v. FCC) which was only finally resolved in July 2020, when Mozilla decided not to appeal. That left about four months for telecoms to go wild with their newfound freedom to throttle.

Sample webpage from a future without net neutrality
Someone told me that an article this long needs pictures, so I typed “net neutrality” into Bing and this came up. I don’t think this future is actually likely to happen; I expect a non-net-neutral future would be much more subtle. But it sure is striking, isn’t it!

Then came the presidential election. With President Biden’s victory came the inevitability of new Title II regulation. Telecoms are now right back on their best behavior, hoping to convince the FCC that they are good little boys and girls and will not put any more firefighters’ lives up for ransom, so the mean old FCC won’t ban zero-rating.

(ASIDE: I’m not really convinced the Verizon firefighter thing was a net neutrality issue, as some have argued, but it was terrible press and at least points to monopoly-like behavior at Verizon. By “monopoly-like,” I mean that only a monopolist or a fool would so abuse a sympathetic, expensive customer during a nationally-televised emergency. I don’t think Verizon is a fool.)

So net neutrality critics have been saying that “we ended net neutrality and the Internet didn’t end,” which is half-true: no, the Internet didn’t end… but, as I noted shortly after the litigation began, net neutrality never really ended, either.

Meanwhile, there have been no grand market disruptions that would tend to change my 2014 analysis. Telecom consolidation has continued apace, as mainstream economic theory predicted, because, as I explained in 2014, telecoms are natural monopolies.

There are still exactly two wired broadband  competitors in my zip code (Comcast and CenturyLink). I’ve lived in four homes since 2011, and they were the only two options at all of them.

I only have bills back to 2015, but it looks like I personally pay almost exactly the same amount of money to Comcast ($60 now vs $65 then) for a lower tier of service (Performance Pro+ vs Blast), but that lower tier is apparently just as fast as what I had in 2015 (150mbps vs 150mbps), and inflation exists, so I’m overall in slightly better shape. I only have to call their customer service once a year to lock in a discount (I didn’t used to have to do that, sigh), so, on the whole, I hate Comcast much less than I did in 2014, right after I moved twice and had to spend days on their support line.

So: no news! You can reread my 2014 net neutrality post; I pretty much stand by it. (There’s a couple details I wish I could retract, not because I think I was wrong, but because I didn’t present enough evidence. C’est la vie.)

However, while I was rereading everything that’s happened since 2014, I was reminded of something: Republican FCC commissioners really confuse me. They’re Republicans, they grew up in the same conservative movement I did, confirmed by Republican senators I generally trust, and I really like to think that they are doing their best to follow the law and help American voters. Yet Republican FCC commissioners routinely say things that—it seems to me—clearly aren’t true, and make arguments that—it seems to me—don’t make sense. There were times during the Trump Administration when I wanted to grab Chairmain Pai (who is a super-nice guy, by all accounts) by the shoulders and shake him while shouting questions in all capital letters.

If I ever had a chance to sit down with a Republican FCC commissioner, and time were no object, and he (or she! you never know) didn’t throw a coffee in my face after the first few questions, these are the questions I would have—sans caps lock:

QUESTIONS OF TEXT AND HISTORY

As a conservative, before I talk about public policy, it’s for me important to understand how the public policy evolved, why it did so, and what the governing law means. This matters both because I’m an originalist-textualist disciple of the Federalist Society and because I’m a Chesterton’s Fence conservative. Republican FCC commissioners consistently have what I perceive as bizarre views on the text and history of net neutrality, and their seemingly erroneous conclusions inform the rest of their analysis.

1. Why do Republican commissioners consistently act as though net neutrality regulation of telecoms were unusual?

Telecoms who own the Internet’s physical network (originally including cable telecoms; see, e.g., AT&T v. Portland) were regulated directly as Title II common carriers from the unveiling of the first public ISP in 1989 until 2002, when the FCC launched its experiment in deregulating cable broadband by classifying the physical-network providers as “information services,” not “telecommunications services” in the Cable Modem Order. (Telecommunications services are subject to Title II common carriage rules; information services are not.)

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Breaking Down the Chauvin Charges

As we await a verdict in the Derek Chauvin trial for the murder of George Floyd, I took some time today to figure out exactly what the jury is weighing in their ongoing deliberations. The full jury instructions are here. I am not a lawyer, and I am largely thinking out loud here, but I read the instructions and here is my summary of them.

This is my first time writing about the Floyd/Chauvin case since May, when I wrote that the county’s decision to charge third-degree murder, (not second-degree murder) made legal sense. Joke was on me, though: the state soon took over the case and charged second-degree murder on the legal theory that Chauvin was committing intentional felony assault against George Floyd which (perhaps unintentionally) caused Floyd’s death. So I’m demonstrably not an expert here, and I only trust myself to understand the jury instructions because they are specifically addressed to schmos like me. Feel free to jump into the comments with comments or clarifications… assuming the comments show up today. (I’ve been having technical problems with them lately.)

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WandaVision Title Sequences, Ranked

Still from Wandavision's first intro
This isn’t a spoiler because it’s in all the trailers and the first 60 seconds of the first episode.

Obviously, as someone who has 11 hours of TV theme songs in his iTunes library and who spent much of childhood watching TV Land and Block Party Summer on Nick @ Nite… I was going to have to watch WandaVision at some point.

I mean, goodness, my favorite episodes of half my shows are the ones where they change the opening credits. And WandaVision changes the opening credits every week? In homage??? Yes, this is a program for me.

And WandaVision was, in fact, worth it just for the opening credits.

Here they are, ranked. I tried to keep spoilers out, but it’s impossible to avoid discussing WandaVision’s basic format… and clicking through to actually watch any of these videos will absolutely spoil you. Now, rankings:


#7. Episode 1, “A Newlywed Couple.” The past is a foreign country, and WandaVision tried very very hard but could not quite grab the wholesome energy of the era. It’s a technically and artistically impressive credit sequence, and I love it for that… but it lacks soul, and one of these has to end up ranked in last place. (This, incidentally, doubles as my review of the entire first episode.)

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The Truth about Dr. Seuss Nobody Wants to Hear

Cover of And to Think That I Saw It on Mulberry Street.
Cover of And to Think That I Saw It on Mulberry Street. PHOTO CREDIT: Steven Senne for the AP. Photo is technically under copyright until, most likely, the mid-2130s.

By order of his estate, six Dr. Seuss stories got cancelled this week, including the famous And To Think That I Saw It On Mulberry Street, first published in 1937. They are no longer being published and were subsequently banned from eBay for being offensive… unlike Mein Kampf, which remains available on eBay.

This controversy shouldn’t even be possible, because Mulberry Street — along with nearly all of the books swept up in this publication purge — should have entered the public domain in 1992.

Under a sane copyright regime, like the one the United States inherited from England and maintained for most of its first 150 years of existence, copyright terms last 10 to 20 years, renewable to a maximum of 40, maybe 50 years. Even with Dr. Seuss’s vigilant copyright renewals, Mulberry Street should have been public domain by about 1977.

Under a not-quite-sane-but-okay-I-can-see-it copyright regime, copyright lasts about that long OR for the life of the author, plus however long it takes for the author’s minor children to reach adulthood (whichever is longer). This ensures that the author is able to enjoy the fruits of his labor and support his family with it for his entire life. Seuss died in 1991, so copyright on Mulberry Street would have expired in January 1992. Nearly all of his books, including all the books swept up in the cancellation purge last week, would have entered the public domain by 2010.

Under the copyright regime in force at the time Mulberry Street was published — still a pretty sane one — Mulberry Street would have had a maximum of 56 years of copyright protection. It would have entered the public domain in 1993.

We retroactively extended that copyright law several times in the 20th century, ultimately extending Mulberry Street‘s copyright protection to 95 years. It will actually enter the public domain in 2032 — 40 years after Dr. Seuss’s death.

It would be even worse under the most modern laws, which keep works under lock and key for the life of the author plus 70 years. If Mulberry Street were published under today’s copyright laws, it would have been published in 1937 and not released to the public domain until 2062 — 125 years after publications.

Most works do not even survive that long. They are irretrievably lost to neglect while waiting to enter the public domain. Most old videogames, for example, are today preserved by archivists who operate in absolutely blatant breach of copyright law, hoping the copyright owners won’t mind protecting and emulating games produced for the Sega Genesis. Under my regime, Genesis games would have started entering the public domain around 2003 and the last of them would be released to the public right about now. However, under current actual copyright law, they are all copyrighted until the early 22nd century. A genuinely unthinkable amount of 1930s and 1940s films have been lost because copyright holders didn’t preserve them and others lacked the right to copy and protect them.

The Constitution grants Congress this power:

“to promote the progress of science and useful arts, by securing, for a limited time, to authors and inventors, the exclusive right to their respective writings and discoveries.”

Long copyright terms are bad because they imprison important cultural touchstones in the hands of private actors for (right now) literally centuries. But they are also unconstitutional: they last long after any further “progress” might be “promoted,” and far beyond any “limited time period,” according to the original public meaning of that phrase. The Supreme Court decided in 2003’s Eldred v. Ashcroft that the Supreme Court cannot unilaterally decide where that line can be drawn, and fair enough. But we, the voters, should hold Congress accountable for driving a stake through the heart of this constitutional provision.

…and, as a direct result of this robbery of the public trust, Congress has now also allowed private actors to drive a stake through the heart of several beloved children’s classics.

If you’re mad about Dr. Seuss, fix copyright law.

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What I Got Wrong About Lockdowns

Uptown Theater, Minneapolis
The Uptown Theater in Minneapolis on March 28th. Photo by Lorie Shaull under a CC BY-SA 2.0 license.

Last March, I strongly advocated strict stay-at-home orders (aka “lockdowns”) throughout most of the United States. When they said “two weeks to bend the curve,” I immediately demanded extensions. When those extensions were granted, I cheered. When states began reopening in May, before meeting the benchmarks I (and the CDC) had set, I was profoundly disappointed.

Here is the basic pro-lockdown argument that I made:

  1. Left unchecked, covid would have infected and killed something like 1 million Americans.
  2. Lockdowns lasting 2-5 months (long enough to suppress the virus) would drastically reduce covid’s spread, saving several hundred thousand Americans.
  3. The likely benefit of saving several hundred thousand Americans (even mostly elderly Americans) was greater than the (likely catastrophic) economic cost.
  4. Therefore, we should impose lockdowns.

Many people disagreed with me.

At the time, at least in my Facebook circles, there were two main arguments against lockdowns:

~1. (Not-1) Covid isn’t very deadly, and will not kill more than 100,000 Americans in total. (The exact number used varied, a lot, but was most often between 50,000 and 100,000, because flu kills around that many Americans in a severe flu season.)

~3. (Not-3) Even if covid is going to kill a huge number of Americans, the economic costs of saving all those Americans will be so high that it won’t be worth it.

~3a. (Not-3, variant) Even if covid is going to kill a huge number of Americans, lockdowns will also cause a huge number of Americans to die (from suicide, untreated medical crises, et cetera), erasing the benefits of suppressing the virus.

Basically: covid isn’t that bad to begin with, and, even if it is, the lockdown cure is worse than the disease.

I am comfortable saying today that that those counter-arguments were wrong.

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The Evil That Runs Through Everything

Some months ago, a friendly acquaintance saw a casual remark I made on a politics forum about how Democrats will never win in states like West Virginia because they are anti-unborn. My acquaintance objected: “Democrats aren’t anti-unborn. We just believe medical decisions like whether or not to have an abortion are best left to be decided between a women and her doctor.”

I replied, without rancor:

This is like saying that Roger Taney wasn’t anti-Black.

In fact, it’s exactly like that.

Now, I get it: you don’t think unborn people are people, and think it’s not just reasonable but necessary (for gender equality) to exclude them from legal personhood, the protections of the Constitution, and the 14th Amendment. Okay, that’s where you stand. We all know how abortion debates crash and burn in this thread, and we don’t need to have one tonight.

But declaring that you think the unborn have “no rights the [born] man is bound to respect” makes you — and the mainstream Democratic Party — anti-unborn. This is as plain as the fact that triangles have three sides. Please don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining.

(Roger Taney was the Supreme Court justice who authored Dred Scott v. Sandford.)

My acquaintance was infuriated. He demanded I apologize for my “insulting, disgusting” comparison to “a slave-owning SCOTUS justice” and contended that I had attacked the basic rules of civil discourse by drawing that parallel. He stated that there was no similarity between abortion and slavery, because of course everyone has always known that Blacks are full-fledged human persons, but nobody knows or ever can know whether unborn children are full-fledged human persons, in large part due to their limited cognitive abilities.

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Watch the Joint Session to Count the Electors

Well, this will be a short-lived post, but the Joint Session to Count the Electors has started. I was going to watch this anyway, because I did so much work explaining how it might work in the course of my legal horror story, “And The War Came.” But now the President’s attempts to steal the election from President-Elect Biden have made this thing quite a big deal, so lots of folks are interested.

As always, the best place to watch Congressional floor action is on C-SPAN: https://www.c-span.org/video/?507663-1/joint-session-congress-counting-electoral-college-ballots

An excellent overview of the process from the Congressional Research Service is here: https://fas.org/sgp/crs/misc/RL32717.pdf

The session started one minute ago. Please enjoy! Or dread. Either way.

UPDATE 12:13 PM:

The Joint Session to Count the Electoral Votes has opened. First thing that happens is Pelosi clears most of the floor for social distancing reasons. Someone (I missed who) raises a point of parliamentary inquiry asking how they can raise points of parliamentary inquiry and points of order if they’re stuck in the gallery. Pence gavels him down for being out of order. This is basically right and indirectly answers the question: members generally *cannot* raise points of parliamentary inquiry or points of order during this session. There is a possible exception. It is believed that a WRITTEN point of order signed by a Representative and a Senator can be considered, but only through a burdensome process. However, this has never been done.

UPDATE 12:18 PM:

And it has begun: the electoral votes from Arizona for Biden have received a formal objection. This is the third formal objection since the modern law was imposed in 1887. (The other two were in 1969 and 2005.) The objection — written and signed by both a Representative and a Senator — contends that the electoral votes of Arizona were not “regularly given”. Correctly, it does not go into detail. (That’s saved for the debate floor.)


The Joint Session is dissolved temporarily. Both houses will now debate the objection (separately, in their own chambers) for one hour two hours (sorry, brain fart). The Arizona electors will be rejected only if BOTH houses agree to reject them.

Note that, while Democrats won control of the Senate last night, their winners have not yet taken office, so Republicans still have narrow control of the Senate. This does not really matter, since there’s no way this objection will win support from moderates, textualists, pro-Constitution members of the Senate. Still worth mentioning.

UPDATE: 1:28 PM:

After a predictable debate along predictable lines, violence has disrupted the electoral count. Facts are unclear, but both houses are now in recess, reportedly due to protestors breaching the building. Rumor that Vice President Pence has been evacuated.

Needless to say, as in the case of protestors destroying important symbols like statues, protesters trying to derail our basic republican institutions should be met by all necessary force, including (if necessary) lethal force.

UPDATE 2:35 PM:

Look, if you’re still following my blog at this point, stop. It’s chaos. There’s an ongoing riot, capitol police has lost control, the White House is reportedly refusing to deploy National Guard (which seems like it meets the legal definition of seditious conspiracy? but maybe we’ll sort that out later), and this blog is not the place to get your news. Feel free to make use of one of my favorite Twitter lists for tracking current political events, CheckmarkPolitics.

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Special Comment on the Cruz Electoral College Objection

One critique of originalism
The joint session to count the electoral votes, 1925

I haven’t blogged for a while–it was Christmas, I have a life, and my mea culpa post on lockdowns can wait a few more weeks–but I posted on Facebook about Sen. Ted Cruz’s objections to Congressional certification, and was asked to make that post more widely shareable. It’s been a while since my last special comment, but this seems like an appropriate occasion to make another.

The appropriate penalty for signing the Ted Cruz electoral college objection letter is immediate, lifelong banishment from the United States, and all its territories and possessions. The Speech & Debate Clause (among other things) ensures this will never happen, but, in a just world, these Senators, and their collaborators in the House of Representatives — these arsonists against our Republic — would never be allowed to freely breathe its air again.

I’m not fanatical about this. I thought that Sen. Hawley’s symbolic objection to Pennsylvania’s electoral votes was a Pretty Bad Idea, but a defensible one. He said he wanted to use the electoral certification process to make a soapbox against the Pennsylvania judiciary and executive branch’s blatant usurpation of legislative powers, but his objection would not have overturned the election result even if successful. Stupid to use the delicate vehicle of presidential legitimacy for soapboxing–and it was even stupider when Barbara Boxer did it in 2005–but not obviously an attempt to burn the basis of constitutional self-government (free and fair elections) to the ground.

But the Cruz letter is simply shameless. It cites “widespread allegations” of voter fraud as an excuse to institute a national committee to investigate voter fraud. This ignores the overwhelming and definitive evidence that, while voter fraud and election cheating did happen in the 2020 election, it did not come close to affecting the outcome.

(If you don’t like those links, I can link you to court ruling after court ruling showing, in detail, how empty the Trump Campaign’s claims are. If you still believe, falsely, that courts have thrown these cases out simply on standing grounds without considering the evidence, that only shows me that you have been reading misleading or outright fraudulent right-wing press reports about the rulings, not the rulings themselves.)

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Some of Minnesota’s ICU Beds are a Mirage (and that’s Very Very Bad)

If you look at the Minnesota Department of Health’s hospital capacity stats today, they don’t look that bad.

There’s an even more soothing version of this data circulating on certain Minnesota-centric Facebook groups:

Ordinary ICU bed usage (in non-covid times) is like 850, and we’re at 1150… but we have 1450 beds and an extra 400 available for a surge. So we’re okay, right? We’re pushing up toward capacity but still have a looooooooong way to go before we get there. Right?

Not right. I’ve been posting these MDH hospital capacity stats regularly for months in my weather reports, but, over the past two weeks, I started to hear various kinds of pushback from various friends (or friends of friends) who work in hospitals. They’re telling me that, sure, the beds exist, MDH is right enough about that… but we’re nearly out of medical staff.

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Biden Won

I wrote this on Facebook yesterday (Wednesday) at 10:06 PM. If anything, it’s even more true now than it was then, so I figured it worth posting here as well.

You can look at each state that’s out and say, “Hey, Trump has a chance. He could get lucky.” So why have I been saying that the race as a whole isn’t a tossup? Let’s break it down.

There’s two states where Trump is currently favored: North Carolina and Georgia.

There’s three states where Biden is favored: Pennsylvania, Arizona, and Nevada.

To win, Trump has to hold the states where he’s favored, then get lucky in Pennsylvania plus one other state. So he has to get a little lucky twice, then VERY lucky twice. It’s easy to imagine Trump getting VERY lucky once, but he has to roll lucky four times in a row — and his most important state, Pennsylvania, looks like his toughest right now.

Meanwhile…

To win, Biden has to either hold Pennsylvania* OR the other two states where he’s favored… and nothing else. So he needs to get a little lucky once, and that’s it. If he gets unlucky in PA (or loses a Pennsylvania lawsuit that sways the vote total), then Biden has a fallback: he needs to get a little lucky twice in the Southwest. But he has a fallback for that, too: he can win by getting VERY lucky once and winning one of the Southeast states in play. Trump has no fallbacks.

Trump’s BEST path forward is to hold Georgia and North Carolina, flip Arizona, and then win a lawsuit in Pennsylvania that somehow invalidates what looks like a fairly comfortable Biden margin. But… urk. Every path I see for Trump is as weird and convoluted and unlikely as the paths that panicked network anchors started drawing on the walls at 12:30 AM on Election Night 2016, by which time I was openly mocking them.

That’s why I think it’s over.

I’m going to lose the $0.60 I bet on an official race call coming before midnight Wednesday. There will be no call tonight [Wednesday], because networks are being appropriately cautious. It might be another week. In the meantime, I honestly don’t know whether Arizona will stay blue (it really might flip! and Georgia might just as easily flip to blue!).

Nevertheless, one way or another, and for whatever it’s worth, I project that Joseph Biden is President-Elect of the United States.

WHAT ABOUT FRAUD?

I trust the Trump campaign will take all evidence of fraud to court, and I trust the court system (now largely staffed, at the federal level, by sound judges) to sort it out. I do not think Trump has much hope here, given the margins, but I am open to being wrong. We do need to count all the valid votes and discount all the invalid ones, and I support that process.

My projection of President-Elect Biden does not take into account the possibility of rampant voter fraud being proved and removed. So that’s a path for Trump.

But this would require a fraud conspiracy on a scale not even seriously alleged in American politics since the 1960 presidential election. (And, even there, it’s pretty unclear whether the alleged fraud actually changed the result of the election.)

*NOTE: Yes, Pennsylvania still shows Trump in the lead, but that lead is down to less than 2 points. It was 14 points this morning. Trump is very much on track to lose PA and would have to get quite lucky not to. That’s why I said yesterday morning to ignore everything PA did on Election Night.

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